tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77019053720627547822024-02-07T22:15:35.306-08:00If Everybody had an OceanDaughter. Sister. Friend.Student.Surfer. Keepin' it real. Traveling the World. Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-13002889171670670512015-04-24T11:12:00.001-07:002015-04-24T11:12:40.196-07:00Failure is an option.. Sometimes the best oneWriting is therapeutic for me, in some weird way. I never really gravitated towards it in school, so it is sort of surprising that I have in recent years. Anyways, I woke up this morning feeling the urge to write in this blog that has been long forgotten. Took me about 10 minutes to even find the dang thing, but hazaa! Here we are.<br />
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I spent the last 20 minutes or so re-reading previous posts of mine, and it's safe to say im thoroughly embarrassed haha! Yikes, haha!<br />
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But one thing I did love about it, was seeing my growth through the years. To think my first post was 4 years ago! Now with 23 coming up in a few weeks, I ask myself, "Am I where I thought I'd be??" Safe to say 18 year-old me would be freaking out right now that I have not declared permanent residency in Mumbai or Rio De Janeiro. But almost-23-year-old-me is, I feel, quite different. I have done a lot of traveling since High school, more than some people get in their lifetime, and how special is that! I am so proud of myself for taking the time and adventuring beyond my comfort zone and country. I am proud of myself for the things I got to accomplish at a young age, and I am proud of myself for become patient with my life "plan". To think 4 years ago, that Id be standing here at 22 years old, as an EMT and Paramedic school a littler over a year away, Id think, WOW! Who IS this chick!? <br />
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Id like to be a Doctor one day, and travel the world! Id love to travel to far off places and help people in need. To offer education and service to those who may not have any, or need more. Its crazy to think and read back on these older posts and see my distress and anxiety for trying to find "my life's purpose".. If you are reading this right now and you are struggling with that same topic in your own life, please know this...<br />
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<b>stop.</b> breathe. listen.<br />
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God has got this. Hindsight is 20-20, and you will find yourself looking back and seeing how confusing some things are, but how they seem to intertwine creating this crazy path that has brought you here to this very moment. Maybe if I stopped trying so desperately to figure out my life years ago, I maybe would have found where Im at now, a lot sooner, Because in frantically trying to find myself, I lost myself. I lost opportunities for growth, for understanding, for silence. Looking back if I were to just have stopped and listened (for once) I would see that what my heart desired was right in front of me. That God was trying to show me everything I ever needed, was right in front of my nose.<br />
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Being an EMT and on this path of medicine didn't really surprise me. In fact, when I found myself submerged deep into EMT school, I found myself feeling like I was right in the center of where I needed, and for so many years, wanted to be. I felt like this was what I was MADE to do. I always knew I wanted big things for my life. I wanted a life that was the opposite of normal and mundane. I wanted a life people write books about. I wanted to find myself on top of a mountain in a foreign country or deep in an exotic jungle, I just didnt know how I was going to make a living from being a full-time adventurer, then one night around 2 am in a Hospital I found that notion of, "THIS. IS. IT." and I haven't questioned it since. This may not be my life-long purpose in life, but Oh how I hope it is !<br />
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Now with feeling that Im not longer a scavenger on the hunt for a purpose, God has shown light on other areas of my life that needed work. Its not fun when there is a spotlight on the areas where you have left alone for years. They look old and dirty and tired. Untouched and dusty, I found myself continuing to avoid commitment. Until a four legged thing came into my life: Huckleberry Finn.<br />
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In the efforts to subside my desires for human contact, I convinced my parents to allow me to purchase a dog, but not just any dog, THE dog. He HAD to be a german shorthaired pointer, and he had to be named Huck. I had this dream of how life would be with him, andddd well that wasnt how it turned out. I thought, "Having a dog maybe will fix my lonesomeness." Because who am I kidding I was lonely. Life may look bright and sunshiney on Facebook and Instagram, with all my fun activities, stories, and things Ive experienced, but the one thing I kept refusing to believe was that life was meant to be shared.<br />
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I knew I had the choice back when I was 18, I could have chosen a more traditional route: school-marriage-house-family. But that meant commitment, that meant staying in one place, that meant <b>suffocation.</b> So I traded in comfort and convenience for a backpack and a plane ticket. I traded in a college degree by 22 for hostels and new countries at 20. I traded a steady relationship for an impossible chance at having any at all. So here I am, almost 23 with all this other life experience, but still unable to properly function in a semi-romantic relationship. Even though Im an adult, I felt like I was in Jr. High with the way I would handle myself, and communicate. I would get so frustrated with myself, and ask myself "Why is this so difficult to grasp or comprehend?" I would wonder "why am not getting this faster? Why do I feel like such a failure at this?"<br />
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In my life I am used to being able to grasp concepts quite quickly. Obstacles dont seem like obstacles to me, and challenges seem inviting. But when it comes to my feelings, why am I so foreign? I look back and wonder, "was this trade I made, back when I was 18, was this trade worth it? Was it worth it to feel debilitated when it comes to my feelings and the way I share emotions?"<br />
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Im not ever sure, but If i were to travel back in time Id advise my younger self to learn the art of balance, not the art of being alone.<br />
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In recent events it has been brought to my attention how dusk this area was in my life, and I decided to let it go and let God handle my life. When you pray and ask God for chances to grow, be careful! haha! He just may answer them!<br />
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I want to act with grace and kindness. I want to become the lady Id imagined myself to be when I was a teenager. I hope to love amidst hurt and loneliness. I hope to be used for God's plan, and not my own, even if that means feeling empty. To know God will fill me back up, well, what more could I ever hope for?<br />
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So 18 year old self.. You want to know somethin?<br />
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Being classy is hard work, being kind is not easy. Allowing your heart to open is scary, and growing is not pain-free. Showing kindness and grace is not effortless, and being thoughtful is not by accident. Wearing makeup will not conceal an ugly heart, and being bold does not have to be obnoxious. A Woman of the Lord is patient, and seeks Him through good times, and in bad. She brings Him her desires and asks Him to choose for her. Instead of looking around and trying to find my own way out of a maze, I will instead look up and ask for help. I dont want to waste any more of my life being prideful and stubborn, but instead be a lady of humility and grace.<br />
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<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-2257483257124345302014-01-15T12:36:00.002-08:002015-04-24T10:06:54.442-07:00"If Everybody Had An Ocean.... I think the world would be a happier place"SO! It is finally 2014, and I could not be more excited for this year and what it holds. Every year I push myself further, to see what is out there and what I can accomplish and what goals are out there that I can set for myself. For the past few years, me and my dad have always talked about surfing every break in The Beach Boys song, "Surfin' in the USA". Knowing that the majority of them are in CA, we feel it would be the ultimate surf trip to surf them ALL. Well, in a real world, people have other priorities, so I thought of my school schedule, work, and as well as my friends and Dad's schedule to see how we can accomplish this. By following swells that come in, and set aside days throughout the next few months, and weekends where we can take the camper, we can make this epic project happen. Nothing sounds more like home, than The Beach Boys..<br />
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<br />
Introducing, The Breaks:<br />
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<ul style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px; list-style-image: url(data:image/png; margin: 0.3em 0px 0px 1.6em; padding: 0px;">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Del Mar" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Del_Mar,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Del Mar, California">Del Mar</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Diego County, California">San Diego County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Ventura County Line" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ventura_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Ventura County, California">Ventura County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Santa Cruz" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Cruz,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Santa Cruz, California">Santa Cruz</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Cruz_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Santa Cruz County, California">Santa Cruz County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trestles" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Trestles">Trestles</a>" - <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Onofre_State_Park" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Onofre State Park">San Onofre State Park</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Diego County, California">San Diego County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Australia's Narrabeen" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrabeen,_New_South_Wales" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Narrabeen, New South Wales">Narrabeen, New South Wales</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Manhattan" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattan_Beach,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Manhattan Beach, California">Manhattan Beach</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles County, California">Los Angeles County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Doheny" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doheny_State_Beach" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Doheny State Beach">Doheny Beach</a>, <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dana_Point" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Dana Point">Dana Point</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Orange County, California">Orange County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Haggerty's" - <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palos_Verdes_Estates" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Palos Verdes Estates">Palos Verdes Estates</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles County, California">Los Angeles County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Swami's" - <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swamis" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Swamis">Swami's Beach, Encinitas</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Diego County, California">San Diego County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Pacific Palisades" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Palisades,_Los_Angeles" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Pacific Palisades, Los Angeles">Pacific Palisades</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles County, California">Los Angeles County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"San Onofre" - <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Onofre_State_Park" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Onofre State Park">San Onofre State Park</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Diego County, California">San Diego County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Sunset" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunset_Beach_(Oahu)" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Sunset Beach (Oahu)">Sunset Beach</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oahu" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Oahu">Oahu, Hawaii</a> - or - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunset_Beach,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Sunset Beach, California">Sunset Beach</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Orange County, California">Orange County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Redondo Beach" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redondo_Beach,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Redondo Beach, California">Redondo Beach</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles County, California">Los Angeles County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"L.A." - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles">Los Angeles</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Los Angeles County, California">Los Angeles County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"La Jolla" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Jolla" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="La Jolla">La Jolla</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_County,_California" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="San Diego County, California">San Diego County, California</a></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0.1em;">"Waimea Bay" - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waimea_Bay,_Hawaii" style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;" title="Waimea Bay, Hawaii">Waimea Bay, Hawaii</a></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;">As you can see, the last break, well. its in Hawaii. haha which MMMEAAAANS ill just have to fly out and finish this project in Hawaii, ( not a bad break, huh? ) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;">WELP! help support this adventure and cheer us on. If you surf, come with! There will be plenty of board meetings ;)</span></span></div>
Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-79724441007471462882013-12-12T10:11:00.001-08:002013-12-12T10:11:33.644-08:00From midwest:To Home: To Europe and beyond: To back where I love.SO a lot has happened since my last blog! I ended up leaving Ohio literally that week I wrote that post. I came home and was so SOOO lost. I had no idea who I was anymore. Did I still like the same things? Would everything come back to normal? Have I changed for good?...<br />
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I did change.<br />
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BUT, I feel for the better! I am learning as seasons come and ago, that you will never be the same person every single year, and it can be a GREAT thing!!!! I came home, got straight to work, and invested myself in school and my job. Then, I had the amazing opportunity to fly to Europe and go backpack for a whole month!!!! I was a bit travel shy at first, since I havent been out of the country in a couple years, but oh how I am so glad I did.<br />
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I flew into germany to stay with my good friends the Bodenmullers, then Me and a friend backpacked Ireland and England, then flew back to germany for the remainder of my trip. I felt like myself again. I felt that fire inside me, that freedom and the fact that I am only 21. I am so young, I dont need to settle down, get married, buy a house, find a career just yet. I have time, and LOADS of it, so I need to use it to my full advantage, and boy did I in Europe.<br />
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Not only did I discover my love for adventure again, but i found myself CRAVING the ocean. I would have dreams at night on riding a perfect wave, and would wake up in europe, in snow, lol, and eager to get back on my board.<br />
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When I returned from the midwest, my love wasnt surfing anymore. I wasnt sure WHAT exactly I loved or did, but God will always lead you back and bring you 'round to full circle. Hes just groovy like that.<br />
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After my trip I got to see family, friends, eat some turkey (Thanksgiving) and then, FINALLY....<br />
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Surf.<br />
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Catching my first ride in months since I last surfed, I felt alive. A rush of feeling hit me in the head so hard, and I remembered. I REMEMBERED. And once again, I found myself hooked. As if i werent obsessed with surfing prior to my midwest move, It came back tenfold. With the new year and summertime (for socal) around the corner again, I see all the possibilities at my doorstep. Life is the sweetest thing I have ever done, And God just keeps providing and providing and providing.<br />
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With good grades in school, and as many hours a week of work as I want, I feel like I am truly a blessed child of His. There is no rush to grow up. There is no need to settle. I havent even started yet!<br />
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Which leads me back into the blogging world, starting 2014, I will have this blog but change the title:<br />
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<u><b>If Everybody had an Ocean</b></u><br />
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Ever since I was very little, The Beach Boys have been a household staple of my families music collection. I grew up dancing in my room to Good Vibrations and Dont worry Baby. One of me and my Dad's favorite songs is of course, surfin in the USA, since most of our favorite surf spots are featured in the song. We got talkin about how awesome it would be to surf every spot mentioned in the song, and thats when I decided to make it a goal of mine to truly surf the USA. ;)<br />
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SO stay tuned! Ride it with me!<br />
<br />
xo Lindsey<br />
<u><br /></u>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-22137541247461727572013-08-12T06:24:00.000-07:002013-08-12T06:24:26.693-07:00American HoneyLord, what do i do? Why do I feel more lost than ever? .....<br />
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Seems to be the question of the hour lately. I am sitting here on my front porch, in Ohio, watching the sun continue to rise, and the dew shine right in front of me. I am here to be honest on this thing ( am i ever not? lol ) and im not going to lie, i took advantage of it this summer. I allowed myself to slump, i didnt pick myself up by my bootstraps and get hard to work. Instead i focused on what i was missing back in california, than what was right in front of me. I allowed 3 months to go by, and if i told you that i tried my hardest, i would be lying. But i was so lost! I have moved across the WORLD and it wasnt as hard as this past summer was. Being 'still' isnt really my thing, never has been, so the fact that i was learning, well it really showed my ugly side. Didnt realize i could be that bad. am i embarrassed?<br />
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<u>you bet.</u><br />
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But this is my first go-around, im not used to routine, im used to being able to pick up and go wherever i dang well pleased, without the permission of anyone but my bank account.<br />
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But i felt so lonely. Sure i experienced amazing things, and i chose the route of wanderer, but if anyone tells you its full-filling..the whole time.. they are <b>lying</b>.<br />
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Life is meant to be shared, not handled by yourself.<br />
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This summer i learned that, the hard way. I grew up, and suddenly i felt really lost because those type of adventures didnt fuel my soul anymore. Surfing became a distant memory, and the thought of picking up and moving to Cambodia didnt tug at my heart strings.<br />
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And that scared (scuse my french) the hell out of me.<br />
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I panicked, i was like a wild horse being tamed, scared i would never see the wild again, forever strapped to the life of an 8x8 post fence. So i reacted. I reacted without class and grace and maturity, but i just witnessed pretty much the death of my childhood. Im no longer 17 and can do anything i want, i dont wake up and say "ive got time! plenty of time! ill go to school in 3 years!"<br />
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Well, im 21, degree-less, and finally got a grasp on what is expected of me. Took about half a year, but i got there.<br />
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Good part is, well i am finally ready! Sad part is, i burned a lot of feelings on the way.. and they werent <i>my</i> feelings.<br />
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Ever feel like the only person on the face of the earth? i do.<br />
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Summer is almost over, and my parents come in 8 days! I am so excited to see them and show them around, but i also have a decision to make.... <b>do I go back?</b><br />
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Do i go back home to california? Right when everything was starting to make sense and pick up? When i had a plan? When i was so excited to start school, find a job, get really plugged into this church here? I didnt even get a chance to try it here!!! I wasted my summer being stupid and im afraid im now dealing with the consequences of my attitude. As i sit in this golden hour of sun and hear the birds sing and just witness this beauty around me, i feel so empty and lost inside. I walk alone and think of all the times that i should have acted differently, should have had more class. Instead i acted like a little girl. Didnt realize it was possible to miss this much, i mean heck ive been through my share of break-offs, but why is this one different? I wasnt ready to let go. im still not.<br />
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What do i do now? Where do i go? What happens when you wake up in the morning and dread your day, and your week because you know its going to be more wandering and loneliness? My eyes are tired from crying, my body aches from lack of rest and sleep. What do i do? I have been praying, <b>begging</b> God to show me where to go, but what if all you hear is silence? What if i can never let go? What if leaving here would be my biggest regret? Can i survive being alone here? I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks out of frustration. I am so angry and lost that all i feel like doing is running, and running and running and seeing how far i can go. <br />
( i was RUNNANNGG-Forrest Gump) But seriously. Everything changed so fast, im just now catching my breath and picking up the pieces. It seems like every day im leaning on one side of the fence, then the next day, the other side. I woke up this morning wanting to stay, but fell asleep last night feeling lonely and wanting to be home.<br />
<br />
Do i go home? Go back to that running-around lifestyle? Sure id start school, but i would become ADHD lindsey again. Doing everything under the sun, while everyone else was really starting their lives. Sitting in 3 hours of traffic, workin joe-jobs. Constantly battling things around me to go do instead of sitting and focusing on one thing. <br />
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Do i stay here? Continue to grow in ways that ive never imagined? it <b>just</b> started to get good here, im not ready to leave.. Do i stay and be still? I would start school here, but also get the chance to live on my own and experience that, which is an opportunity i wouldnt have while living in California. My heart aches because the person id want along my side, well, wouldn't be in either of those choices..<br />
<br />
I know i have two weeks to make my decision. And that involves a lot of prayer, and evaluating. But i am so tired and weak. I am so beat down inside its hard for me to even get up out of bed.<br />
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<br />
What do i do? I feel so lost.. so lost.<br />
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<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-22575358763875309572013-03-19T13:14:00.000-07:002013-03-19T13:14:45.206-07:00Im going off the rails on the lazy traiiiinBy no means, is my life lazy, I dread standing still for longer than an hour, and im constantly on the go, seeking new hobbies, working on present ones, or exploring. Somehow, i started to think that it was okay to put God on the back burner. This blog is for me to be honest with myself, and allowing others to see that honesty too, so please respect my feelings! Sometimes we get so caught up in our own personal dreams and desires that we often forget God has much better ones in store. I assumed that my lack of laziness in my personal life meant that i was good. I go to church every sunday, i read my bible every week, so, that makes me good, right? Thats it? Job is done until next week? alright! sweet! ...<div>
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uh, no. </div>
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I find my ego and pride get the best of me, more than they ought to.My selfishness stands in my way of true potential. Instead of letting God let me know whats best, i assumed the role of the drivers seat. Life isnt worth living, if it has no purpose, and boy am i learning that! I get to do the coolest things, seriously! But whats the purpose? for MY happiness? What good is that? that mega sucks you know, because what is life, and happiness and joy, if it isnt shared with others? That if i want to have a heart like Jesus, i would have to serve. cause thats what he was, a Servant. SO, instead of self serving MYSELF, because that sounds just so self righteous it makes me gag, id have to live my life for others. I wouldnt say im obnoxious with the selfishness, i still love the opportunities God provides me for loving on others. But thats where the laziness comes in. I? ME? I wait? for HIM to provide opportunities? Where's the passion for his kingdom, Lindsey? Where is that burning desire to seek him? You have all the availability in the world, and yet, you <b>wait.</b> how SELFISH of you. How can you EXPECT, no DEMAND that God bless you, when you continue to not live the blessed life? A check in once a week christian is not what he desires. Driving home in thought last night, i had a difficult time with that concept. Being a Christ follower is HARD. its not an easy route, but boy is it worth it! I have to constantly battle my motives for life decisions: "Is this cause I want it? Who will this Benefit, or who will this <b>bless</b>?" I often find myself comparing my walk with Christ back in Highschool and where i am now. I understand now, why most followers fade away in their 20s. Life catches up at you, and you're now an adult with the world at your feet, and the last thing you wanna do, is listen to someone else telling you how you should live your life. But you just gotta stomp out that voice telling you to make your own decisions. And thats what im trying to do, and yet i fail! like every week fail! I am not the most kind person to some, my selfishness and LAZINESS gets the best of me. And i sit and ask myself, how the heck can i get better at this? This life-thing? Cause, seriously this is hard! and anyone who tells you otherwise, is ignorant haha All these things in front of me, effecting me, influencing me, its hard to drown out all this negativity. "Act this way? or that way? Are you looking like this? cause you should! Dont eat that, This is what boys want! ect ect" Influence <b>overload.</b> Which also helps feed into the laziness, its just like, i wanna throw in the towel and call it a day, because i cannot process it all accordingly! So i decided to find out what laziness was. what was it?</div>
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<b>la<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gif" />zi·ness</b><i> n. :</i></div>
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<tr style="display: inline !important;"><td style="display: inline !important; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;">Indolence; inactivity resulting from a dislike of work.</td></tr>
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Wait, what? Dislike? But wait.. my laziness is an example of Dislike towards serving God?????</div>
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But i dont dislike it?.... Do i? Do i LOVE it? Well, i guess if i LOVED it, i would be doing it more, right? </div>
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<b>1+1=Lindsey is lost.</b></div>
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Not gonna lie, reading the definition sent chills up my spine. Was i so far off the target point? what happened? and how did i get here? <b> </b></div>
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<b> I got lazy.</b></div>
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Hot diggity dog! i need to get my act together! STAT! This whole "I love God, im covered" mentality is what will end me. What is love without effort? without thought-out on purpose act? Dont mistake me, i love The Lord! But, was i really showing my affection? or did i get caught up on this ride? I wasnt made to go with the flow. I was created to fight the current, and be a stand out. Time to start acting like it, yeah?</div>
Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-64088469525444283852012-11-02T22:23:00.000-07:002012-11-02T22:23:48.647-07:00wide awakeso, its been kind of a while since ive been on this thing, and well, my life has pretty much changed. dont get me wrong im still driven to see the world, but as months pass God shows me so many new things. and i see sort of his timeline, if thats even possible. learning that i dont need to take over the world before im 25, and that i should go at a pace thats actually enjoyable, and where i can set roots in. Now, if you know me- know me, its not exactly what i love doing. But, i have just learned to love it. really, im excited to try something new in all areas with commitment, learning to stick with it, and finish what i start. and especially on a topic where i had refused to go down. because well, i was scared of commitment !!! (isnt that terrible? haha ) topic : relationships.<br />
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oh yeah. its go time.<br />
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i had always been so afraid of letting myself open up to someone, thinking that the minute i got into a committed relationship my life was on the verge of boring and i was never going to experience all the things i wanted to do. but ive learned that its kind of the opposite. and that i need to date a guy who is going to keep me moving forward, not keep me from doing anything. Lately this past week i have been in Ohio visiting family and friends and oh how i adore it here! its given me ( and continues to ) the solitude and the quietness i sought. ive even found myself daydreaming about my future guy to be! which is weird for me lol cause before i used to not really think about it. and of course i had lists as a girl in HS of my perfect man, but re thinking what was written, haha is not the kind of guy i truly desired! not saying it wasnt a good list, but im sure if my future husband doesnt like cereal, we'll be okay. now im not really expecting anyone to read this,if you are, well hi! cool! but, like i have said in previous blogs, its more of an outlet for me, plus i love reading old blogs to see how much i have grown and where God has brought me.<br />
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the list.<br />
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1. i will not take any guy who isnt sold out for Christ. i have realized it is SUCH a vital part in a healthy relationship, and girls, if you are frustrated with a guy you are dating or wanting to date, because he isnt on the same page as you, let it go and move on. your relationship with God and your character are far more important than a boy. he may be special, but if you seek Gods will, let God work on him while you do your own thing. Hes got it all under control. trust<br />
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2. be driven. having drive is certainly an attractive attribute! someone who wants things and goes after them with integrity and passion! i dont want someone sitting around waiting for something to happen. make it happen. do the things you wanna do because , well, its what you wanna do!!!! brings me to my next number-<br />
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3. be assertive. none of this wishy washy highschool crap. it was annoying then, and guess what, its STILL annoying. i desire a guy who fights for what he wants, and who is assertive in our relationship. now, lets not take it over board, not a control freak over me, but a guy who sees me, and says to himself, i like her. so, im going to try and date her. and be a man and not be timid! be brave guys, it goes a long way with us girls. why do you think we love the notebook so much? we just desire a guy who sees us and only us.<br />
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4.Manners. oh man haha polite, gentleman, on time and alert. not much to explain there!<br />
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5. be a KID too! but lets just leave the inappropriate jokes and tantrums out of that equation please. I def. desire a guy who i can quote kid movies with and go on lame adventures and someone who isnt going to drain the night. be light hearted, seriousness is of course needed sometimes, but not most of it. be a kid, but remember that you're an adult. please. haha<br />
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6. probably one of my most needed needs is this. Thoughtfulness. oh man, thoughtfulness! it goes SUCH a long way! the fact that if i even got sunflowers or maybe a card randomly id die!it isnt because i like stuff, its the point that you saw it, and youd think "lindsey would like this." or "lindsey would laugh so hard i should get this!" i dont need expensive items, thats why i work, i can get those myself. but i cant go get an ugly cat card for myself, thats just weird. im weird, but not foreveralone weird.<br />
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but really. guys, if you read this, let us know we are on your minds. it brightens our day, doesnt cost you a thing, and is greater than any necklace you could ever buy. remind us. it warms our hearts.<br />
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7. be HONEST! if you are just not feelin it anymore, dont ignore the topic dude! just say it! dont have us sit and wait and wonder what in tarnation is going on because you dont want to tell us. its hard, we get it, its never fun telling people youve lost feelings for them, but its a lot better in the long run to let us know before we get even deeper. and be honest about youre feelings! if you like us, TELL US! if you wanna be with us, well, TELL US! cause if im talkin back to you and hangin out all the time, most likely, i like you too!!!<br />
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8. Communication. i need a guy who communicates. cause if you cant, well then you can take a hike.<br />
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9. spiritual, emotional, and mental maturity. For once, can i have all 3? is that too hard to ask? haha always seems like its one or the other. well. im sure ill hit the jackpot someday lol but id like to have trust in the guy im dating to realize what God has called him to be, and what a Godly healthy relationship is. i dont want 'oops' and 'mistakes' constantly, i dont desire that one bit! so avoiding them before they even happen is a big big need for me.<br />
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10. Character. be the best person YOU can be. i cant stand guys who are easily influenced, be your OWN and if you dont know that then dont date! find out who you are, because that last thing i want is my time wasted on a guy who hasnt got his stuff figured out. not saying not knowing is a bad quality, we have all been there, i, many times, believe me, but before i date you, id like to know im not gonna be dating a guy with many hats or who doesnt know what he wants. id like to be what you want. and if im not, then ill continue on and eventually meet someone who will!<br />
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This isnt a jab at any guy ive had interest too, but thats what dating guys is about. figuring out what works and what doesnt, and what you really want, and what you are going to completely avoid haha and girls, if you are reading this, if there are any red flags, do not justify them. they are waving for a reason. excuses will eventually run out and so will your patience. best to not pick up something at all, then to pick it up having to put it down later on. I felt like i have grown so so so so so much in just this past week! i honestly feel like im an entirely new person, with a big new and improved view on life. i desire what God wants, and i just wanna live for him. i hope to find someone who wants to, too.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-72597433756939723942012-06-13T01:44:00.000-07:002012-06-13T01:44:55.200-07:00what the heck is goin on!"One of the hardest decisions you'll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away, or try harder."<br />
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here we go, another stinkin blog on the stinkin blog page stinkin late at night about the same ole stinkin topic im always thinking about.. purpose. Its all i ever think about. sunrise, sunset, i lay in my bed and ponder the question, "WHAT am i going to do today?"... as i rattle of the check list in my head, and go through my itinerary for the day, i still feel in the same place. i try my best not to complain, because well, i have an amazing life!! I just wish i had a calling, a purpose.. whatever that is i guess. i sit here frustrated, tired because ive tried everything, looking at all doors, windows, cracks, ANYTHING to get a glimpse of what the heck im supposed to do with myself. you know, when you graduate highschool you think, " oh 20? yeah i think ill already be on my way to a career by then!"....sike. nope.<br />
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90% of the day i feel lost. useless, almost. pathetic and annoying as that might sound to you, whoever you are, its the truth. i know we are supposed to be patient and have faith that Gods timing, is the best timing.. why is it so difficult to just 'be'? Why cant i just seem to get things right? why do i ALWAYS have to mess things up? you ever envision who you want to be someday, then look at the person you are NOW, and think to yourself, "ive got miles, and miles, to go.." Being focused and on top of things, and trying to make sense of everything thats going on, just gets so tiring. Not being in school, and seeing my friends continue their education, i get worried sometimes. Am i gonna get left behind? well, why not try school again? ok! that sounds like a great plan! But whenever i do, something just tells me no? i can only bake cupcakes and babysit for so long before i become a nun for crying out loud. which, i wouldnt mind actually since im dysfunctional at relationships as well! Just adds to the awesomeness of my being. Look. im not trying to throw a pity party, even though it pretty much sounds like im an ungrateful little girl, this is the only way to express frustration before i just burst out crying BECAUSE of frustration. Im just a person trying to work on themselves, trying to gain patience.<br />
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</div>Maybe im just growing up, because my mind is changing, not about the important things, just about how i maybe thought things were going to go.. at 18 i imagined myself in a far off country someplace unknown to the majority of the population.. so, why cant i imagine myself there, now? Why can i NOT see myself alone anymore? i was so easily sure that i wanted to remain alone. and now? i want him there. and surfing! dont even get me started on that! i could surf all day, every day. morning, until night. i actually had SEA LEGS the other night trying to fall asleep cause i surfed the entire afternoon. i dream about waves at night and bout having the salt in my hair. But then i dream of green grass and trees and rolling hills and the smell of fresh air, and catching fireflies at night. winding roads and summer rain storms. Or cobble stone streets in europe or how each airport has its own special smell, and energy running through it. what do you do when your heart isnt rooted in any place on land? will i forever be drifting above? constantly observing everything while in motion? or will someone come along and lasso me down to make sure i dont get too far off?<br />
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as much as i am up for an adventure, im living my life with a blindfold on.. in every aspect. career, education, hobbies, love, direction. its like trying to break open a pinata! when all you want to do is take a tiny peak to get a solid whack on it, to make sure you look like you are so great at this 'game' called life. To reap the rewards of all thats inside it. Then, here i am flailing this bat around trying to hit SOMETHING to make sure its still there. to make sure im still swinging for something. just wanting to take a peak, to make sure im not getting laughed at, or lost, or swinging at air..<br />
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i guess im just going to have to look like a blind fool for a little while longer, but im pretty sure im not the first person to feel this way.. so i think i might be in good company.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-80227882219390975652012-02-11T23:43:00.000-08:002012-02-11T23:43:51.887-08:00How lindsey got her groove backsometimes we just need to dance. for real, just get up and have this crazy solo rave dance party in your own room to get your life groove back. who would have thought physically dancing would put the spark back into things!!! I picked up dance again and the WHOLE DAY i just could not keep still!!! Im excited to start it up with the girls, and have a time to all re connect and do what most of us loved to do for years.. DANCE! I have been learning a lot the past few weeks, and its not to take life so seriously. to not plan so far in advance cause things change. Old feelings change, new feelings change. You re kindle with the old, and combine with the new, and you just, you make a brand new life, every day. Excitement is out there! Dont get caught just being lazy and vegging on the couch when you can get up and shake your buttLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-45585313545518001442012-01-30T18:23:00.000-08:002012-01-30T18:23:54.405-08:00struggleI havent written one of these well, since october. Not because i forgot about it, but i really was embarassed that i had nothing to write about. Here i am swearing by all means to go out and do big things, when i have sat so still for the past few months. i understand that my surrounding life has a big part in keeping me in one place ( sisters getting married, friends getting married, new job ect ) But instead of using my time to Gods full advantage, i just, watched it fly on by me. To be tied down, is a perfect way, and excuse, to plan. This 'big dream' of mine is still in the works, but has been on just a pause.. and i cant stand that. Its time to really start planning this shin dig, instead of dabbling in it. I havent explain what this 'plan' is to a lot of people yet, because its still under works. But im just gonna come out and explain it all. I will be traveling around the world, using a pass called "around the world trip ticket" through alliance airlines. i will be gone for a year or longer, and will travel to every country i can possibly go too, and stay with christian organizations in each country.I will stay in each country for about a week, and during that week, film and document what the organizations do for the country, culture, and most of all Gods kingdom. Each week my website will be updated by the previous adventure, and so it gives people the opportunity to keep up, and travel with me. Each country will have its own external web link, and so by simply clicking the country that i have already been too, you can watch the video on that country, and listed below will be a brief explanation, needs, wants, and how we, as westernized culture, can help this country. For years i would talk to people about traveling, or how they can help those less fortunate, and the same answers i would get would be "i just dont know where to start, or HOW to even begin to help" well thats where this plan i created fits in. This 'plan' of mine is called Send me on my way, and it gives people the chance to learn about what they are helping with, they get insight on this culture, the PEOPLE that are just like themselves, to stretch out hands, and to create an invisible web. THINK about it, all it takes is awareness. ALL it takes, is information , and knowledge. it is time for us as a culture, as PEOPLE, to help. to care. to become selfless. I am more than excited about this dream of mine, this will be a solo trip, just me, my cameras, and this world...Through this trip im doing, im praying that the dominoe effect is endless. im praying organizations will finally have their voices be loud enough. im praying people who are so bored with the norm, will find my videos, and website, and be inspired. im praying someone, or all find their purpose through the eyes of others. i really hope whoever reads this will be praying with me, because even though i am doing this trip alone, the support of many others will be keeping this flame a forrest fire. Please share this with people you feel who would be interested in viewing this journey as it unfolds. I hope to be making this grand voyage in the summer time, and until then will be giving brief updates through this blog. i will try my hardest at providing the necessary footage to really show whats going on out in the world. I dont want to edit anything out, i dont want to hide, or shy away from footage that will make people feel uncomfortable. there is a REASON you FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. THERE IS A REASON YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING STARVING CHILDREN. THERE IS A REASON YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING GENOCIDE. THERE IS A REASON YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE SEEING THE NEEDS OF THIS WORLD.<br />
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so what if, there were a way to help those issues. to fix them through awareness, hard work, love, selflessness, through this intricate web of knowledge and understanding of these extremely big and important issues?<br />
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what if we can<b> end</b> them?<br />
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<u>Send me on my way.</u>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-90879159709969350642011-10-17T19:01:00.000-07:002011-10-17T19:01:48.295-07:00the start!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzDTydcu4Lron9g5u-UJoKXKSWySzWCijHcQOC4Vu8L1t_GurReFIvpUUmDgGbrOhHE1LlE6MqhC6Wnr-KgAA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-46277023757633386702011-10-02T18:40:00.000-07:002011-10-02T21:24:22.199-07:00first.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">first video blog... please excuse the awkwardness..and references to Star wars.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz1h4NiHVrqdZnGi_758PVqNa3e97IgHqxD3Rx9DFEVFZf7S3UXPDZA8B4m4IgZrMfw9_fcg5uZFOeOR_3k1A' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-56380693132766045592011-09-26T23:01:00.000-07:002011-09-26T23:01:33.606-07:00Life is wasted on the LivingThis is a very heated toned blog, proceed with knowing this can end up leading in rants. K? K. Moving forward. You know what rubs me the wrong way? What gets me absolutely frustrated? Is people lollygagging through life, and wasting opportunities. If you are one of those, brace yourself. This is your LIFE. you get ONE shot at it, ONE chance. what on earth are you gonna do with it? I mean i complain a lot, more than i ever should be, but what im learning lately is, If im not happy with something, its not going to change unless i make it change. Usually life is a lot like newtons first law.An object at rest, will stay at rest, and Something that is in motion, will continue to be in motion, unless stopped by an outside source. If something in your life, isnt going the way you'd like for it to go, or if you are making decisions that you dont like, then DO something about it. GIVE it reason to stop. Stop complaining about how life is boring, or people treat you bad, or about random things! If you dont like it, FIX it. If someone is not treating you the way they should, and you have tried to mend that problem and work it out, but they wont change, WALK. AWAY. WHY are you going to put up with something that is constantly bringing you down and making your life much harder than it should be? If you dont like the way your life is going, then DO something about it. Get off your butt, and change it! If you dont like your job, then search for another one! If you dont like where you live, then MOVE. I understand its expensive, and intimidating living far away from family, or by yourself, but guess what? you wouldnt be the first one to do so! If you have a habit you wanna break, then BREAK IT. By all means, even if that means getting outside help, just stop it! Put the bottle down, stop committing adultery, quit taking pills, work on not lying, silence your lips before hurtful language, eat healthier, get out of abuse... only YOU will get YOU to stop physically making mistakes. No one is going to follow you for the rest of your life with a pair of handcuffs making sure you dont royally screw up. If Life is boring, then FIND something exciting about it! If that means going to school to follow your dreams, or NOT going to school to follow your dreams, just FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! ( as long as they are reasonable, not like i wanna be the worlds best pie eater or something) I know its hard changing, breaking from the mold, following your biggest dreams, but thats exactly why God loves you! Hes there to BE that rock, that cheerleader, that foundation.. Youve got a time spand that isnt long in retrospect to how long we've been here. what are YOU gonna do thats gonna make a difference? People throughout history have taken chances, BIG chances, and have ended up living their dreams! Its POSSIBLE. so what, you're gonna go to school, get a job, have a family, and a regular joe 9-5 er? just because thats what society expects of you? What gets your blood going? Heart pounding? What inspires you to just get up and go!? DO that, what are you waiting for? because Time isnt going to stop for you, so you gotta get up and actually chase it. If life isnt what you think it oughta be, then dont put up with it. CHANGE it. When you see something and think 'thats not okay!' then DO something about it. Dont let this blogs head sentence be true. Please dont waste your life away. Dont just make comments, give them reason behind them. Be that starting domino, BE that first tug, that first push of something that only God could muster up. If only you knew what he has instore. If only you knew your potential to shake things up. If only you knew. START WORKING TO BECOME LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU ADMIRE. every generation needs a martin luther king jr, Lincoln, mother theresa, CS lewis, walt disney, and Ben franklin. People who make a ripple, who make noise, who DO something. Now, tell me, why cant that be you?Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-87780212072553295082011-08-08T13:06:00.000-07:002011-08-08T13:06:02.540-07:00strangers like mesacrifice. a word i have been thinking about A LOT lately.. In recent months im learning the true meaning of that word. In order to get to my dreams, and Gods desires, i have to sacrifice a lot of my desires to obtain these goals! But in the process of 'letting go' of unnecessary things, i have found meaning to the things that ARE necessary.. We feel so helpless when things we think we need, are taken away from us.. But letting go of these things, these things that are not much of worth.. you find that the simpler basic things, fill those gaps, and over flow! I dont need a boyfriend, or new clothes, or my hair being done every month. I dont need the latest and greatest accessories or to go out clubbing every weekend in hollywood. Dont get me wrong, those are all fun activities, but not really worth my money or time compared to other options. I do A LOT in my week. from ballet, to surfing, to swing dancing, to hanging out with friends. Church, gym, family, hiking, and mischief! SO MANY THINGS fill up my hours, and frankly they all.. cost.. money.. so now, i have all these goals and desires laid out on the table, and i have to be wise with my spendings of money, and time, for each! If that means skipping out on dance or bailing on hanging out with friends on the weekend to work to just get gas money, im gonna do it! I'll babysit for days on end, just to get INCHES closer to where i wanna be.. Im so done wasting time on people and activities that arent going to benefit me in the long run. Doing things that arent pleasing God, is costing me more than money.. How much are you willing to sacrifice for your dreams? How many hours of work and dedication are you willing to do, in order to live your life the way you always dreamed? ITS POSSIBLE. that life you always dream about? yeah that dream sequence that plays through your thoughts? its actually possible!! because our God makes things happen. I know there are people out there in the world, who are doing the same thing i am... working hard to obtain these crazy goals.. strangers like me. somewhere :)Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-14215250745951676682011-08-04T23:14:00.003-07:002011-08-04T23:14:07.973-07:00never lose sight to whats important in lifeLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-69993974006995640162011-07-05T23:29:00.000-07:002011-07-05T23:29:50.958-07:00downsize, without losing quality.During my vacation from home and lets just say 'life' in general, it has really reminded me the true importance of keeping your dreams in perspective. A good friend of mine, Dj, had posted something on facebook that i really have never read/heard before. It read, "Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams." and as simple as the quote is/was, it hit me like a ton of bricks!..."Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams"... was i surrounding myself with people like that? Were people whom i called my friend, supporting my dreams? being positive influences? Helping my life's process go the way it should be going? Were they being cheerleaders? For those of you who do follow this thing-of-a-blog, you know my dreams, and how BIG and improbable they are, and i cannot achieve them on my own. This life, it was meant to be enjoyed--- <b>together</b>. But sometimes i forget, that the company you surround yourself with, you will soon be the host of. Am i being a good host? Am i surrounding myself with these people, these friends, these essential tools? and lately, i have found that answer to be half n half. HALF of my friends were being what i needed them to be, while the others, were, well not. So, i am learning to downsize without losing quality....but to <b>gain it.</b> Impossible you say? no. Difficult? you bet. Im just really starting to pay attention to what is necessary in my life, and people who arent helping me towards these crazy dreams, really dont deserve a whole lotta effort from me, yeah sure this can totally be wrong and you can think "lindsey what are you doing!" but so far... its worked. i dont hate anyone, i dont resent anything, <u>i just dont have time, to waste my time. </u>So evaluate where you are in life! are you surrounding yourself with people who are cheering you to succeed? Are your close friends being the iron you need them to be? Are they just as excited for your dreams as you are? I can honestly say.. yes. mine are.... and boy am I blessed.<span></span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-71459607467995455992011-06-30T20:12:00.000-07:002011-06-30T20:12:33.004-07:00Too Blessed to be StressedA lot of the time, we forget to really think about how blessed we truly are. For the past 2 weeks i have been vacationing in Ohio, visiting family and friends ect, and i will say, i have had the BEST time!!! From adventuring to Pittsburgh, to climbing through underground ancient caves, i am a blessed girl! What this trip has shown me, was that i dont have to fly clear across the world, to find adventure and opportunities. I find myself thinking as i type this, that i forget ( quite frequently ) how blessed i really am, and i have been workin SO hard lately to save up money, and now there is no problem with that, but sometimes God wants us to just relax and see his kingdom, and that is exactly what ive been doin! I forget the opportunities God has placed around me, and around the corner! That even though im working towards a BIG dream, i can still create wonderful memories in the mean time :) that money is JUST money, and my time is so valuable! Even though this blog isnt long, i just hope this would remind you ladies that life is BEAUTIFUL amidst the chaos, and hustle and bustle of our busy lives. SMILE! you are precious to God and he has planned SO much for each and every one of us!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-67771504433782042362011-06-15T14:35:00.001-07:002011-06-15T14:35:25.144-07:00repeat.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Remember your dreams. Remember your dreams. Remember Gods Plans. Remember Gods plan.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-27925133179897795262011-06-03T21:30:00.000-07:002011-06-03T21:30:16.624-07:00To wantIts time again. its time to uproot it all and just go for it. These past 7 months since ive been home from germany have been hard and amazing and everything in between. i have worked my TAIL off (and continuing) for money. I find myself wishing hoping and dreaming to go and do all these amazing things, and i pray and pray asking God, "HOW CAN I GET MONEY!?!" but it wasnt how, it was, can you. It was, hey God can i please just win the lottery? The other week at church pastor chuck said a statement that just hit me. "God why cant i just win the lottery?.... Well, your chances go up when you actually purchase a ticket.." Since that day ive brainstormed and used my imagination to come up with every single possiblity to make a buck. I had to remember what my gifts are, and talents are, and that God just didnt give them to me for no reason. I have had bare to none social life in the month of may. Even cancelled my birthday week to go do something that is far more important then clubbing in Hollywood. These past few months have been the most important, and ive grown the most out of the last 4. Stuff that used to occupy my mind, just doesnt anymore. People who used to occupy my mind, just dont anymore. Ive learned to downgrade, and not loose quality, but gain it. My Dreams are whats most important to me right now. Not boys, not friends, not work, not dance, not baking, not anything. I wake up thinking about my dreams, and go to bed thinking about them. They fill my mind with sights and images painted across my thoughts. I realize that i have to be realistic about Life, and that i cant do great things, unless i work myself to the core. I have to FIGHT this, i have to WANT this more than anything ive ever wanted, and that its possible to be self made. I want to leave in september 2011 this year on another adventure. I dont know what adventure, or where! whether it be missions orientated, or just a traveling expedition, ive been researching like crazy! asking anyone who knows anything! I have so many open doors..<br />
<br />
One of my biggest goals in life, is to say ive traveled the world before the age of 25. I want a picture holding the leaning tower of piza. A picture of me dangling the taj mahal like a christmas decoration. A picture of me on the great wall of china. A picture of me in the sahara. A picture of me kissing the sphinx. I wanna be able to say ive seen the northern lights in person. That ive floated down the Nile and Amazon. That ive drank guiness in an Irish pub and have had a croissant in Paris. I want treasures! I want memories that are priceless! I want to see these images in my head, in person! I dont want ANYTHING holding me down. I dont want to look back in 10 years with a husband and kids and say, what happened to my dreams? Now do NOT get this wrong, having a family is a dream of mine, a BIG one and a wonderful one, but im waiting to open that present. Ive got people to meet, and places to see, things to do, pictures to take, cultures to understand.. The stuff i wanna do, you cant learn in a classroom. <br />
<br />
Not a lot of people say they got to see the world, let alone at a young age.<br />
I want to be able to say that.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-12004279051475992332011-04-05T13:56:00.000-07:002011-04-05T13:56:26.440-07:00breakaway"I gotta, take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and <b>breakaway.</b>"<br />
<br />
Cheesy line maybe, but how its one of my favorite songs! The past few days have been so inspirational, i feel like im ME again, and i haven't felt that way in a long time. I forget so often, and SO EASILY what my bigger plans are, what i imagine my life to be, and where i wanna go. I have dreams that are bigger than what im doing now, and ive learned that this state of my life, is only temporary. This time in my life, is meant to be spent with family, close friends, and God, building up character, learning important life lessons, and not letting anything set me back. When im bored, i tend to re-read my old blogs from germany and then after, to see how much ive grown, and that tough situations make tough people. I have always been a 'go-getter' so what happened? Why have i become so attention deficit, to the point where i forget what i truly value and look forward too in life? I feel like as girls, we are so easily manipulated by our own minds, that we forget how many plans, how many WONDERFUL adventurous loving plans God has in store for us, to not let money, jobs, media, BOYS get in the way of the view. Im meant for big things, its time for lindsey to grow a spine and keep moving forward, to not let anything stop me, but to gently put things down and walk away. To not waste my time on temporary things, but to be a dream chaser, to get to that mountain top just to say i did so. Ill only be 18 once, and 19 is around the corner, and i want this year to be the most exciting yet. What are you gonna say about your past birthday? Are you able to say you took the world by your own two hands? Or let is shyly slip by?<br />
<br />
Jeremiah 29:11:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Sometimes i forget how Loving and creative God really is. I need to work on that.</span></b></span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-60205290468127202572011-03-28T23:17:00.000-07:002011-03-28T23:17:54.806-07:00relationshipsNow, im not one to give advice on relationships, well romantic ones, since well, ive never really been in a full committed long term one. ever. why? i dont know, but past the point! Lately on facebook time and time again, this status comes up."Boys, treat your Girls right, or some other guy will." and always, bajillions of people 'like' it, and comment on it, and say amen! or yeah! or "dont worry i am!" I dont think chivalry is dead, and i cant stand it when people say that it is. its not dead, your just hanging around losers. But when have we, the female race, ever try and turn those words around, so it applies to us? "Ladies, treat your man right, or another girl will". Its different when you read it regarding you huh? Its almost haunted, and just so realistic. I guess im talking about this, because most of my views (which i love you all so much! checking it every other day and i still get this amount of readings is SO cool!!) -are girls from Dr Jacksons blog, which he referred me or whatever you say. Anyways, i couldnt help but think, "how do i treat the guys that i am crushing on, or talking too?" Do i treat them the way i expect guys to treat me? well, to tell myself an honest answer, no, i dont. Do i treat them like the way i want to be treated? no not all the time. Do i try and be the best girlfriend ever? Do i try and see eye to eye, or listen instead of telling them what is right or why IM right? I guess this refers to all aspects of life. "Treat your friends right, or other people will." Relationships, its what is tangible in this life. they are the glue to our messy surroundings. almost everything we do, is with another. How can i hold my tongue? control my temper? Block out my judgemental mentality? how do i TRY to be a better girl towards the people i love/will come to know? I dont want to miss an opportunity to share joy, so maybe i can try to dodge those words, or actions, or thoughts that destroy relationships, before they even happen. Life is meant to be lived with others. I just wanna make sure i dont live it alone.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-71487567071400407962011-03-18T00:36:00.001-07:002011-03-18T00:36:54.716-07:00yeap.<span>When the solution is simple, God is answering. -einstein<br />
</span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-18177478751975115032011-03-04T23:02:00.000-08:002011-03-04T23:05:12.337-08:00Not where the storyline endsIm probably writing this blog out of pure boredom, but nonetheless, i need to write one! Lately i feel like ive been in such a rut, and its driving me crazy. I feel like i only hang out with children, ( no harm to the kids i love my job i do!) but Goodness, i feel like its all i do. I go to work, come home and eat food, then leave for another sitting gig. Is this where i picture my life at? A few months ago i was boarding a plane to Germany. Would I, in that moment, have thought that this is where id be in a few months? This past week has just been a blur of grey and dull, im either working or working in my room (re doing it, its adorable lol ) But i sit here, and continue to ask, "why did it turn out this way? why am i here and not somewhere else?" I guess what im trying to say is, i keep thinking this is the end of the book, the tragic boring ending of Lindsey's story, when its not. Not every single word of a book is going to be gripping and exciting. But what i am learning is that, i need to be positive during every stage of my life, including the monotonous work and lifestyle. Im learning to not waste my time on people who dont care, not waste my time grumbling when i have work the next day, and complaining that my life is dull. I dont have the extra time for all that. Its not gonna make it better by being whiney about it. If i am, then im not working hard enough to make it exciting.. Sometimes we expect things to happen, when in reality, its how we react to whats given to us. I cant complain when i reacted without enthusiasm and without the bigger picture in mind. Who knows, maybe in 6 months, ill read back on this, and be somewhere else, or doing something new. Life's a changing stage, and flipping book. And i shouldn't try to skip chaptersLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-82528311896847140312011-01-29T23:48:00.000-08:002011-01-29T23:48:19.016-08:00Got a date with realitySometimes i look at this site, to remember past memories, and short comings. re-reading old entries make me laugh and feel sad sometimes, and to my surprise, people still view this page. Ive thought about returning to blog, but i figured no one wanted to read someone's boring routine life, but then i realized, that most of the worlds population is in routine. So might as well give ya'll something up to date? Well since ive been home from germany, its been well, freakin boring lol. But you know, sometimes in life, it has to be, well not boring, but, simple. As humans we often ( too often id say) get those two words, completely mixed up. "Its soo boring here, there is no pizazz, theres no NEW! theres no bright colors and loud sounds that keep me entertained" But simplicity IS exciting.. its meaning you have a blank canvas, something to just go wild over.. but again, its to bring us back down to the realization that the best things in life, are the simple ones. dont get me wrong i love me some excitement! but if i had to sit down and write everything i truly loved, itd be the simpler kinds. Sunflowers, laughing, baseball, baking cookies, taking bike rides, naps, dancing, day dreaming, hot bubble baths, and squidging your toes in the sand. Sometimes we get so caught up in big dreams and aspirations, and dont get me wrong, those are great to have! but we gotta focus on the now, the present game plan, to get to those wild ones.. Its January 29th, 2011. its 11:27 pacific time, and im sick with a throat infection, not my best night i would say? eh ha ha. i dont know what makes this night any different from the rest, but i felt like i need to write again. im laying here, staring at this ceiling, that hasnt changed in years, and once again i want something more. but, im content.. i know ill be gone again soon, and since the new year, ive had many great opportunities to travel in other parts of the world literally, whenever i please and fundraised the money for.. but you know, for once in my life, im okay with where i am at. im ok with waking up in sunny california, im ok with going to work and being austins nanny, and subbing for crossroads, and babysitting on weekends, because i know im not gonna be here forever.. i should soak this in.. im probably never gonna be in this stage of my life ever again, i need to appreciate this. i guess sometimes i forget that, but ive learned when you do get back in routine and being content, time goes by alot faster than just sitting there moping in the why's. So im workin hard, rolling up the sleeves, and kickin butt at watching babies lol, im planning for a new adventure, maybe this august. somewhere new :)! and exciting, with new faces and people, im excited to think about it, but my heart says its happy here.. for now. a good friend once told me, that i need to be just as excited with waking up tomorrow and being in the norm, as i would be if i were to wake up knowing i had a plane ticket somewhere. Tomorrow i wake up when my sleep cold medicine decides to wear off, and Doris comes over to hem a few dresses for swing, and then the 530 Church service, then laying out what ill wear for monday, and in bed by hopefully 1030. Thats my Plane ticket. thats my adventure for Sunday January 30th 2011. I better be goin to bed now, ive got a flight to catch. p.s thanks for readin, even if its just one person who enjoys this, its all good with me.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-36306556647109886502010-12-10T22:39:00.000-08:002010-12-10T22:39:19.518-08:00swept underwell hello, its been a while since i have posted one of these.. sitting here in my room, i cant believe its been 2 weeks since i was in germany.. it feels like it went by a flash, and it never happened.. maybe thats a good thing. Its very nice to be home, and be in warm sunshine, but there are people i miss dearly on that side of the world. This will be the last blog i will post for a very long time, well, a few months until im in the other country, well, continent ill be living in next :) you'll just have to wait and see! A lot of people dont understand the meaning and importance of "Home". home is a special place, a place where you can always go home too, no matter where you are in the world, you can always come home. Kids who have great homes, always know that, Parents, make sure your home is like that for your kids, you dont know what they might encounter in their lives, just make sure "Home" is a safeway to any situation.. since being home ive seen SO many people, im subbing for teachers assistants again, (and LOVING it), going to the beach, dancing (love that), and eating as much mexican food my tummy can hold. But im learning to get back on my feet again... the past few months have been so alien to me, my world was rocked on all sides, and not in the good way. Im mending a broken heart, mending my sad bank account, mending my damaged hair, and trying to figure out my next move.. SO many things happened at once, and im learning to make the best out of every situation. As energized and happy as i feel and am to be back home, i felt like ive been a zombie since ive been home. Just slugging around wondering where my life went, and how i got to this place.. so many plans, and dreams, and hopes...changed. within a few weeks, and i couldn't do anything about it.. its like watching a car crash from a window in a tall building, knowing whose cars it is, and no matter how much you scream and hit the glass, you cant do anything about it.. all you can do is turn your face so you dont have to watch it, but something is holding your neck so you have too. What happened? how did i get to this point? how did WE get to this point? what about me? where do i go now? My worst fears happened, something you try so hard to prevent you find yourself helping that process unknowingly. I dont mean to rant, but this is sort of the first time typing things out and re reading it, instead of having it play as a movie in my head, a book is a nice change of pace. As girls, you replay everything, every moment, every look, instance, feeling, and you want to hold it and cherish it forever.. because it meant something. finding out it didnt, is a hard pill to swallow, and learning that you have to let it be that way is an even bigger pill. but im learning. you cant cherish those things forever, because you have to make room for new things to cherish, and new things to hold. some memories should be held in your heart forever, but some should be forgotten. So this is me, learning to put down past memories, walking away, and moving on. Once again, i find myself laying on my bed, having not a clue of where i'll be in 6 months. Its both exciting and terrifying..... And im pleased to say i think you less and less as the days go by... Goodbyes are never fun so, see you soon blog readers. thanks for sharin the ride with me.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7701905372062754782.post-26457861949114849202010-11-26T18:08:00.000-08:002010-11-26T18:08:49.971-08:00the thrillSOoooooo its 3am and im in an airport. i LOVE airports. so many different people, everyone has to go somewhere. its like, aside from disneyland, the best place to people watch. welllll not at 3am. because munich, being the dumb airport it is, isnt 24/7/ lame. all i can do is watch the police and shoot weird looks at them to make them feel uncomfortable.. and im sure everyone trying to sleep isnt to happy with me laughing at skype while i talk to sebby, and my mom and my sister hahaha. anywho. today sucked. it was just bad day, but those happen in life. im so excited to go home back to my family and friends and life with new experiences and learned life lessons. haha bonus! I am ready to feel that cali vibe, stay out late, go surfing, late night trips to LA to get donuts, really finding out what midgetville is, and of course. Lightning Mcqueen. dear bubba, i miss you. i miss speeding on ontario feeling like i would never get caught, (WHICH I HAVENT!!!) we are the dynamic duo. your the bonnie to my clyde. we, will do great things once again. Im not gonna let some bad weeks get in my way of finding happiness. im lindsey, im too much of a goofball to stay down for too long. i wont stay at home for long, because i hear travelin' callin my name again.. but it wont ask again for a few months. plus, cmon, its the holidays ;) snowwwboardddinnggg!!!!! cabin, christmas cookies, ELF, 25 days of christmas on ABC family hahahaha, yeahhhhhh man, and complaining how it feels like summer on christmas morning. lol Im a california Girl, we're unforgettable ;) and i think the kids appreciate me not rapping their chores to them anymore LOL " uhh lindsey.. what are you doing" "rapping kid. learn it. love it" they eventually caught on, and i think i got nick to wave his hand in the air one time :). welp. its time to explore more of the airport hahaha andddd im off!!!! peace germany, i aint comin back for a few years, so, well. keep bein' your bad self.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06171221002569208302noreply@blogger.com0