To want

Its time again. its time to uproot it all and just go for it. These past 7 months since ive been home from germany have been hard and amazing and everything in between. i have worked my TAIL off (and continuing) for money. I find myself wishing hoping and dreaming to go and do all these amazing things, and i pray and pray asking God, "HOW CAN I GET MONEY!?!" but it wasnt how, it was, can you. It was, hey God can i please just win the lottery? The other week at church pastor chuck said a statement that just hit me.  "God why cant i just win the lottery?.... Well, your chances go up when you actually purchase a ticket.." Since that day ive brainstormed and used my imagination to come up with every single possiblity to make a buck. I had to remember what my gifts are, and talents are, and that God just didnt give them to me for no reason. I have had bare to none social life in the month of may. Even cancelled my birthday week to go do something that is far more important then clubbing in Hollywood. These past few months have been the most important, and ive grown the most out of the last 4. Stuff that used to occupy my mind, just doesnt anymore. People who used to occupy my mind, just dont anymore. Ive learned to downgrade, and not loose quality, but gain it. My Dreams are whats most important to me right now. Not boys, not friends, not work, not dance, not baking, not anything. I wake up thinking about my dreams, and go to bed thinking about them. They fill my mind with sights and images painted across my thoughts. I realize that i have to be realistic about Life, and that i cant do great things, unless i work myself to the core. I have to FIGHT this, i have to WANT this more than anything ive ever wanted, and that its possible to be self made. I want to leave in september 2011 this year on another adventure. I dont know what adventure, or where! whether it be missions orientated, or just a traveling expedition, ive been researching like crazy! asking anyone who knows anything! I have so many open doors..

One of my biggest goals in life, is to say ive traveled the world before the age of 25. I want a picture holding the leaning tower of piza. A picture of me dangling the taj mahal like a christmas decoration. A picture of me on the great wall of china. A picture of me in the sahara. A picture of me kissing the sphinx. I wanna be able to say ive seen the northern lights in person. That ive floated down the Nile and Amazon. That ive drank guiness in an Irish pub and have had a croissant in Paris. I want treasures! I want memories that are priceless! I want to see these images in my head, in person! I dont want ANYTHING holding me down. I dont want to look back in 10 years with a husband and kids and say, what happened to my dreams? Now do NOT get this wrong, having a family is a dream of mine, a BIG one and a wonderful one, but im waiting to open that present. Ive got people to meet, and places to see, things to do, pictures to take, cultures to understand.. The stuff i wanna do, you cant learn in a classroom.    

Not a lot of people say they got to see the world, let alone at a young age.
                                   I want to be able to say that.