so, its been kind of a while since ive been on this thing, and well, my life has pretty much changed. dont get me wrong im still driven to see the world, but as months pass God shows me so many new things. and i see sort of his timeline, if thats even possible. learning that i dont need to take over the world before im 25, and that i should go at a pace thats actually enjoyable, and where i can set roots in. Now, if you know me- know me, its not exactly what i love doing. But, i have just learned to love it. really, im excited to try something new in all areas with commitment, learning to stick with it, and finish what i start. and especially on a topic where i had refused to go down. because well, i was scared of commitment !!! (isnt that terrible? haha ) topic : relationships.
oh yeah. its go time.
i had always been so afraid of letting myself open up to someone, thinking that the minute i got into a committed relationship my life was on the verge of boring and i was never going to experience all the things i wanted to do. but ive learned that its kind of the opposite. and that i need to date a guy who is going to keep me moving forward, not keep me from doing anything. Lately this past week i have been in Ohio visiting family and friends and oh how i adore it here! its given me ( and continues to ) the solitude and the quietness i sought. ive even found myself daydreaming about my future guy to be! which is weird for me lol cause before i used to not really think about it. and of course i had lists as a girl in HS of my perfect man, but re thinking what was written, haha is not the kind of guy i truly desired! not saying it wasnt a good list, but im sure if my future husband doesnt like cereal, we'll be okay. now im not really expecting anyone to read this,if you are, well hi! cool! but, like i have said in previous blogs, its more of an outlet for me, plus i love reading old blogs to see how much i have grown and where God has brought me.
1. i will not take any guy who isnt sold out for Christ. i have realized it is SUCH a vital part in a healthy relationship, and girls, if you are frustrated with a guy you are dating or wanting to date, because he isnt on the same page as you, let it go and move on. your relationship with God and your character are far more important than a boy. he may be special, but if you seek Gods will, let God work on him while you do your own thing. Hes got it all under control. trust
2. be driven. having drive is certainly an attractive attribute! someone who wants things and goes after them with integrity and passion! i dont want someone sitting around waiting for something to happen. make it happen. do the things you wanna do because , well, its what you wanna do!!!! brings me to my next number-
3. be assertive. none of this wishy washy highschool crap. it was annoying then, and guess what, its STILL annoying. i desire a guy who fights for what he wants, and who is assertive in our relationship. now, lets not take it over board, not a control freak over me, but a guy who sees me, and says to himself, i like her. so, im going to try and date her. and be a man and not be timid! be brave guys, it goes a long way with us girls. why do you think we love the notebook so much? we just desire a guy who sees us and only us.
4.Manners. oh man haha polite, gentleman, on time and alert. not much to explain there!
5. be a KID too! but lets just leave the inappropriate jokes and tantrums out of that equation please. I def. desire a guy who i can quote kid movies with and go on lame adventures and someone who isnt going to drain the night. be light hearted, seriousness is of course needed sometimes, but not most of it. be a kid, but remember that you're an adult. please. haha
6. probably one of my most needed needs is this. Thoughtfulness. oh man, thoughtfulness! it goes SUCH a long way! the fact that if i even got sunflowers or maybe a card randomly id die!it isnt because i like stuff, its the point that you saw it, and youd think "lindsey would like this." or "lindsey would laugh so hard i should get this!" i dont need expensive items, thats why i work, i can get those myself. but i cant go get an ugly cat card for myself, thats just weird. im weird, but not foreveralone weird.
but really. guys, if you read this, let us know we are on your minds. it brightens our day, doesnt cost you a thing, and is greater than any necklace you could ever buy. remind us. it warms our hearts.
7. be HONEST! if you are just not feelin it anymore, dont ignore the topic dude! just say it! dont have us sit and wait and wonder what in tarnation is going on because you dont want to tell us. its hard, we get it, its never fun telling people youve lost feelings for them, but its a lot better in the long run to let us know before we get even deeper. and be honest about youre feelings! if you like us, TELL US! if you wanna be with us, well, TELL US! cause if im talkin back to you and hangin out all the time, most likely, i like you too!!!
8. Communication. i need a guy who communicates. cause if you cant, well then you can take a hike.
9. spiritual, emotional, and mental maturity. For once, can i have all 3? is that too hard to ask? haha always seems like its one or the other. well. im sure ill hit the jackpot someday lol but id like to have trust in the guy im dating to realize what God has called him to be, and what a Godly healthy relationship is. i dont want 'oops' and 'mistakes' constantly, i dont desire that one bit! so avoiding them before they even happen is a big big need for me.
10. Character. be the best person YOU can be. i cant stand guys who are easily influenced, be your OWN and if you dont know that then dont date! find out who you are, because that last thing i want is my time wasted on a guy who hasnt got his stuff figured out. not saying not knowing is a bad quality, we have all been there, i, many times, believe me, but before i date you, id like to know im not gonna be dating a guy with many hats or who doesnt know what he wants. id like to be what you want. and if im not, then ill continue on and eventually meet someone who will!
This isnt a jab at any guy ive had interest too, but thats what dating guys is about. figuring out what works and what doesnt, and what you really want, and what you are going to completely avoid haha and girls, if you are reading this, if there are any red flags, do not justify them. they are waving for a reason. excuses will eventually run out and so will your patience. best to not pick up something at all, then to pick it up having to put it down later on. I felt like i have grown so so so so so much in just this past week! i honestly feel like im an entirely new person, with a big new and improved view on life. i desire what God wants, and i just wanna live for him. i hope to find someone who wants to, too.