Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Thorough Understanding of Why my Parents said NO...

Meet Marley. My new family's brand new GoldenDoodle puppy. She is 8 weeks old. I just want to start this Blog post as a formal apology, of all the time I wined and annoyed my parents on getting a puppy. I am sorry, that I never let it go, and just 2 weeks ago, asked for a puppy. I now, understand the full responsibility of owning a puppy, and in some weird 2nd life way, this is pay back of all the poop you scooped and all the ruined shoes and furniture. Usually, at this time, I have "Lindsey Time", when i can work on school, talk to friends and family on facebook, skype my parents, tidy up the childrens rooms, clean the kitchen, ect. But i was not informed until the day before, that they had bought this wonderful bundle of joy. Yeah sure its cute, fluffy, and is an angel... when it sleeps.. its a barking poop poo-ing peeing on carpets eating dog food, chewing on chairs machine. I thought being an Aupair in another country was hard enough... now, i have to learn german obedience words for the dog.. "NEIN DOGGY!" literally, just said that. I have a firm belief by the end of this "journey" the dog WILL be, bilingual. ridiculous. You know how sometimes, teen girls who think that having a baby will be fun, so they get put with taking care of an infant for a day, as a way to sort of, "scare them off"... well.. its working. I Lindsey Anderson, hereby declare on, that when i am older, living with my husband, that i will not get a dog, unless it ancient and close to death, has a bum knee, the most trained dog in the world, or "pretend" ( yeah, i went there.) Now readers of this blog, please, keep me accountable. Sincerely, Lindsey. The nanny of the German Dogs.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

In Deep

Its almost 5 am. Fell asleep around 6 pm last night, ( i tried sooo hard to stay up, but i was so exhausted!) and, i couldnt hold myself in anymore. Yesterday, was not a good day for me. On top of being overly exhausted, i was overly homesick. I miss my parents and my sister, my room, my friends, my job, my life. It sort of hit me yesterday, that, i dont have those things at my reach anymore. I spent the whole day arguing with myself, "Did i make a bad choice? Is this a mistake?" I am scared to death. Its now reality, and im not sure if was really prepared for this.. Im giving it a go, and i cant hold yesterday and think thats how this whole adventure is going to be. I feel alone here, even though i have friends within an hour train ride, so any help or seeing how im doing means THE world to me. I dont want to feel like a failure for giving up ( im not giving up) but i feel very lost at the moment. Once again, it could be because i am jetlagging and therefore, more emotional than needed. If you are reading this, and you just wanna get out of corona and away from your family and blah blah blah i know the deal, then really, and i mean REALLY think about what you are losing. I know this will be a great experience for me, but sometimes the best experiences, are also the hardest ones.. Im not sure yet, if this was a good decision or bad one, its just one of those things where ill just have to find out in time. The family is so nice, and the children are hilarious. Its still a little awkward since we are not close yet, but given time, we'll get there. I get sat. and sundays off, which is lovely so i can visit friends and family close by. i cannot wait to see them! Munich is a very beautiful city, and fall is in full swing here. not to mention it. is. FREEZING. and when i say freezing, i mean it. I believe the HIGH was 45 yesterday, and that America, is cold. Im learning to layer, and never underestimate how "sunny" it looks outside lol.  If you wanna move to cold weather and dont care about cali sunshine, THINK TWICE haha, i mean i hate super hot weather too, but this is just wrong! haha and once again, im super tired, so the cold probably doesnt help..... All i need right now is the love and support back home.. moving out is one thing, but moving across the world, is a whole NEW thing that you really cant prepare yourself for.. i knew i was going to miss home, but not this much.

Monday, October 25, 2010

New life Begins Now.

its 1:45am. Rooms clean. everything is packed. friends are gone, and Good-bye's have been said. Bittersweet? Id say so. It is hard to anticipate something so life changing and exciting, yet sad at the same time for you and those around, when you have had such a fantastic exciting week. Makes you not wanna leave, just because life where you are, is just as great. But i know this is for me, and this is my next chapter.  These past few weeks, i have felt like "unwritten" by natasha bedingfield was exactly for me. Its time for me to discover new things, new places, and new faces. God has given me this world at my feet, and i plan on using my two legs to explore every mile of it. So here it is. Here am i. Taking that first step by myself. I hope you all will continue to read my blog,  for i will be updating it from wherever i am and posting pictures to try and show you my adventure not just through words, but images as well. Sitting here in my room, its hard to imagine not waking up and seeing my house or family. I dont think anyone is truly ready for complete independence, it is something that one has to learn. Well, its almost 2 am, and i have a flight to catch in a few hours.. Goodnight California. I'll miss you, and I'll see you again soon.

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten.