Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Its almost 5 am. Fell asleep around 6 pm last night, ( i tried sooo hard to stay up, but i was so exhausted!) and, i couldnt hold myself in anymore. Yesterday, was not a good day for me. On top of being overly exhausted, i was overly homesick. I miss my parents and my sister, my room, my friends, my job, my life. It sort of hit me yesterday, that, i dont have those things at my reach anymore. I spent the whole day arguing with myself, "Did i make a bad choice? Is this a mistake?" I am scared to death. Its now reality, and im not sure if was really prepared for this.. Im giving it a go, and i cant hold yesterday and think thats how this whole adventure is going to be. I feel alone here, even though i have friends within an hour train ride, so any help or seeing how im doing means THE world to me. I dont want to feel like a failure for giving up ( im not giving up) but i feel very lost at the moment. Once again, it could be because i am jetlagging and therefore, more emotional than needed. If you are reading this, and you just wanna get out of corona and away from your family and blah blah blah i know the deal, then really, and i mean REALLY think about what you are losing. I know this will be a great experience for me, but sometimes the best experiences, are also the hardest ones.. Im not sure yet, if this was a good decision or bad one, its just one of those things where ill just have to find out in time. The family is so nice, and the children are hilarious. Its still a little awkward since we are not close yet, but given time, we'll get there. I get sat. and sundays off, which is lovely so i can visit friends and family close by. i cannot wait to see them! Munich is a very beautiful city, and fall is in full swing here. not to mention it. is. FREEZING. and when i say freezing, i mean it. I believe the HIGH was 45 yesterday, and that America, is cold. Im learning to layer, and never underestimate how "sunny" it looks outside lol. If you wanna move to cold weather and dont care about cali sunshine, THINK TWICE haha, i mean i hate super hot weather too, but this is just wrong! haha and once again, im super tired, so the cold probably doesnt help..... All i need right now is the love and support back home.. moving out is one thing, but moving across the world, is a whole NEW thing that you really cant prepare yourself for.. i knew i was going to miss home, but not this much.
Monday, October 25, 2010
its 1:45am. Rooms clean. everything is packed. friends are gone, and Good-bye's have been said. Bittersweet? Id say so. It is hard to anticipate something so life changing and exciting, yet sad at the same time for you and those around, when you have had such a fantastic exciting week. Makes you not wanna leave, just because life where you are, is just as great. But i know this is for me, and this is my next chapter. These past few weeks, i have felt like "unwritten" by natasha bedingfield was exactly for me. Its time for me to discover new things, new places, and new faces. God has given me this world at my feet, and i plan on using my two legs to explore every mile of it. So here it is. Here am i. Taking that first step by myself. I hope you all will continue to read my blog, for i will be updating it from wherever i am and posting pictures to try and show you my adventure not just through words, but images as well. Sitting here in my room, its hard to imagine not waking up and seeing my house or family. I dont think anyone is truly ready for complete independence, it is something that one has to learn. Well, its almost 2 am, and i have a flight to catch in a few hours.. Goodnight California. I'll miss you, and I'll see you again soon.