the thrill

SOoooooo its 3am and im in an airport. i LOVE airports. so many different people, everyone has to go somewhere. its like, aside from disneyland, the best place to people watch. welllll not at 3am. because munich, being the dumb airport it is, isnt 24/7/ lame. all i can do is watch the police and shoot weird looks at them to make them feel uncomfortable.. and im sure everyone trying to sleep isnt to happy with me laughing at skype while i talk to sebby, and my mom and my sister hahaha. anywho. today sucked. it was just bad day, but those happen in life. im so excited to go home back to my family and friends and life with new experiences and learned life lessons. haha bonus! I am ready to feel that cali vibe, stay out late, go surfing, late night trips to LA to get donuts, really finding out what midgetville is, and of course. Lightning Mcqueen. dear bubba, i miss you. i miss speeding on ontario feeling like i would never get caught, (WHICH I HAVENT!!!) we are the dynamic duo. your the bonnie to my clyde. we, will do great things once again. Im not gonna let some bad weeks get in my way of finding happiness. im lindsey, im too much of a goofball to stay down for too long. i wont stay at home for long, because i hear travelin' callin my name again.. but it wont ask again for a few months. plus, cmon, its the holidays ;) snowwwboardddinnggg!!!!! cabin, christmas cookies, ELF, 25 days of christmas on ABC family hahahaha, yeahhhhhh man, and complaining how it feels like summer on christmas morning. lol Im a california Girl,  we're unforgettable ;) and i think the kids appreciate me not rapping their chores to them anymore LOL " uhh lindsey.. what are you doing" "rapping kid. learn it. love it" they eventually caught on, and i think i got nick to wave his hand in the air one time :). welp. its time to explore more of the airport hahaha andddd im off!!!! peace germany, i aint comin back for a few years, so, well. keep bein' your bad self.

It's just one of those days....and its one of those blogs..

you know the days where all you can do is just sit and do absolutely nothing? when you try and try to focus and get things done, but you find yourself stopping half way through and moving on to another task, just to do that same thing with that one? yeah. its one of those days. If you don't want to hear me whine and complain, then i suggest you stop here....moving on. my life. is in wait mode. it seems like everything in my life lately, is making me wait. and for me, patience, isnt really my thing ( it is when it comes to kids, butttt its besides the point) so if you really knew me, you could see me being very annoyed and frustrated. yes, you just nodded your head. yes you just smiled because you know im right. i just feel very lost, unwanted, lonely, angry, sad, and everything in the in between. I dont understand really anything in my life at the moment, but im learning to be ok with that.. who what when where.. WHY. i could go on and on going round and round trying to hypothesize answers for these simple but huge questions, but what good is it? what good is it writing about it? all i can do is just sit here, sigh, shake my head, shrug my shoulders, and start to set the table for dinner before the kids come home. Its not so much im sad anymore, its more of an, annoyed frustrated too burn out to really care whats going on mood/lifestyle... trying to focus on life's positives, its just hard when i dont see a lot at the moment. can someone knock me into a coma for a few months? ship me to Corona, CA 92881, i think my parents would like my unconscious body in America rather than germany... station me at the hospital on main street, that way del taco and juan pollo arent that far of a sleep walk away, and the 99 cent store with its delicious chalupa cart outside. then, wake me up when its summer.