Sunday, November 7, 2010

Unaware of everything, knowing you're aware of me

I just want to say how truly blessed my life is. I have an amazing support system at home, an amazing opportunity here in germany, and a life i get to live. Today has been one of lifes hardest lessons for me.. but the peace and understanding God has flowed through me, has once again, given me a clear vision. Things in life dont work out how we always want them too, people change, you move locations, and surprises, good and bad, happen along the way. Sometimes we get so caught up in our troubles and worries and EVEN BLESSINGS, and forget the bigger picture. As much as closing a relationship hurts and how painful it can be, there are reasons for everything. I want to be as personal on here as possible, i created this blog to be vulnerable, and to be harshly honest with myself, and for you reader, to get a glimpse of what is going on inside of me. lately i feel as if every "Greatest quote on earth" is being applied to my life as we speak, todays life lesson quote being directly applied is, "Better to have loved, then to have not loved at all" as hard and how deeply sad i am, i am OK. no matter what happens in life, Gods got me, why should i worry? sometimes we dont get the answers or conclusions we desire or deserve, but that is when faith is strengthened. I need to have faith in God that hes got this, and let go of the wheel, and for me to be used COMPLETELY for his kingdom. im afraid ive ignored God, or have brushed him aside for a few weeks now, and being in his presence right now, is exactly what feels right. I dont know what the big man upstairs is up too, but i know its something GREAT for me... how amazing is that? no matter WHAT, he is ALWAYS working to make me feel loved and wanted. He is always there for me, he never neglects me, he sees me for who i am and the emotions i feel, he sees the life i desire, and weaves in my wants with his. i think its just time for me to stop being so picky with the way he sews. this blog may not have a theme, but its just "whats on my mind" as of the moment. this might have been one of the hardest days in my life, but that just means big things are on its way... prayers are always appreciated and welcomed here. and having your support means more than you may ever know. amidst of all this confusion, hurt, and sadness, i need to realize im not here for me. and whatever outcome may, i need to be ok with it. so this is me. Lindsey Anderson, learning to live selflessly.

"If homes where the heart is, Then I am out of Place. Lord wont you give me strength to make it through somehow.. I've never been more homesick, than now."

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey, i love you and i don't know details of what you are going through, but know i am praying for you. You are PERFECT in GODs eyes sweetie! He sees you through the blood of His Son Jesus which has washed us all as pure as the snow. He is your Abba, your Daddy...curl up in His lap and rest in His love and presence.
    love you sweet girl.
    aunt carol